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Help a Friend

  • Listen without giving advice, unless it is asked for. Believe what he or she tells you.
  • Tell the victim they deserve respect.
  • Acknowledge your friend's confused feelings. Don't tell them how they should feel. Recognize that it is still possible to love someone who hurts you.
  • Don't make victim-blaming statements like "You're stupid to stay with him" or "Why do you let her treat you like this?"
  • Don't pressure your friend to break up with his or her partner and don't put the partner down. This may drive your friend away from you when s/he needs you most.
  • Offer to help him/her find a counselor, teacher or parent s/he can trust. Offer to go with him/her to speak with them.
  • Don't ever place conditions on your support. Let your friend know you will support him/her no matter what his/her decisions are.
  • Encourage the victim to speak up for themselves. Remind them, "It's not your fault."
  • Seek advice/training from a counselor, adult or an organization that deals with teen dating violence.
  • Find or form support groups for teens - with the guidance of an adult who is knowledgeable on the issue.
  • Make yourself available at all times.


Help Yourself

  • Acknowledge there is a problem. Seek out a friend, parent, or counselor or contact an organization trained to help teens with abusive relationships.
  • Do not blame yourself.


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